Thantophobia

Time for the toughest week, doomsday it is. For an introvert person like me, it's really very difficult to interact with unknown people and make friends out of it. Many would disagree with me calling myself an introvert. Introvert is a term oftenly misunderstood with negative connotations to it. Introvert is typically, the person that no one understands. Introverts are often commercialized into the people who "sit at home watching Netflix all day."

On the contrary, the real introvert is the person who thinks deeply, keeps to themselves, and feels depleted by social situations. Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy. Some may have great social lives and love talking to their friends but just need some time to be alone to "recharge" afterwards. Introverts are simply misunderstood because the majority of the population consists of extroverts.
It's my utter pleasure that I got peeps like you, who welcomed me warmly, made me comfortable enough to express myself in front of you without any apprehension. This was by far the best and the easiest experience of mine, making new friends. Each one of you added a glory to my crown. Although being a reticent person myself, I always enjoyed standing under the shine of these jewels.
But as they say, life is a bitch. What comes around goes around.
I have seen people, the precious jewels of my crown falling with nothing much I could do to save myself. The tighter you hold sand, faster it slips off.
The fear of losing people had grew this inhibition in me to not make new friends.
I always wanted to hold them as close to me as possible.
This fear made me restless. This restlessness started bothering me and others as well. My silence was misunderstood as my arrogance.
People worried for me expected an answer, I couldn't utter a word.
But silently I screamed, 'I have a fear of losing people. I have already lost a friend, now I don't want to lose others.' and the tear rolled backwards.